Did Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist just dismantle the whole point “The Golden Bachelor” tried to prove?
Like the rest of groggily caffeinating America, I awoke this morning to the shocking news that Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, the first Golden Bachelor pair, had decided to divorce. The announcement comes barely three months after ABC’s first “Golden Wedding” aired. And take note: that special was not short.
Viewers have been left completely astonished. “I still have milk in the fridge from when this was on,” one Instagram user wrote in response to a story about the divide. As a loyal fan, I am right there with the rest of Bachelor Nation. Shocked. Mystified. Feeling a little duped?
Even if it is reality TV, which is, at the end of the day, created for our amusement, it is really difficult for me to comprehend how brief this marriage was. I’m not proposing that seventy-somethings should stay in unpleasant relationships just because they’re old. But I’m also saying, “What the hell happened?”
That startled emotion is really reverberating over the internet today. It’s especially perplexing considering The Golden Bachelor’s debut season was brimming with optimism—far more so than prior seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Women fell in love with Gerry, and Gerry fell in love with them. The reoccurring line we heard again and again was also optimistic: “You can find love at any age.”
The fact that the episode concluded with a marriage made us believe in that tenet—or at least hope it was true. It made the divorced (like me), bereaved, and even the elderly feel hopeful that their chances at love had not decreased as the wrinkles around their eyes deepened. Sigh.
Hope was not the sole cause of the show’s great popularity in its first season. The older, wiser ladies were considerably more interesting to see than the younger contenders we’re used to seeing; they were largely kind to one another and exuded elegance and knowledge.
They had intriguing careers and lives, and they appeared to know exactly what they wanted. Even those who did not make it to the final rose ceremony have received such positive feedback that they now have their own podcasts and ventures that are avidly followed.
Viewers undoubtedly adored The Golden Bachelor, but they also had a lot more faith and trust in the participants, so the viewing experience was unique. Perhaps even more authentic. It made it difficult to hear when reports concerning Gerry surfaced around the time of the finale.
And when runner-up Leslie Fhima confronted him on the “After the Final Rose” special for essentially lying to her during their last dates together, it seemed ickier than past seasons of The Bachelor. “Gerry should know better,” many people thought (and voiced their opinions on the internet). And I mean, yeah.
While speculations about Gerry dulled the light of The Golden Bachelor, the larger sadness is that the upbeat discussion about late-life love has been completely demolished. Ripped apart. Decimated. No one expected a Britney-length marriage from seventy-somethings (unless maybe Leslie Fhima).
Yet, after only three months, Gerry and Theresa are no longer together. While they pledged in front of the entire country to love each other till death and to stick by one another through thick and thin, it only took 90 days for them to entirely shift course. And it almost feels like, while seeking to establish that you can find love at any age, and maybe even a deeper love, born of knowledge and a greater understanding of oneself later in life, they proved… the exact opposite.
Relationships are difficult, no matter what age you are. That much is true. However, there is little doubt that certain people have a harder time committing. And honestly?
If you’ve been alone for a long time, it may be tough to integrate your life with someone else’s. As a divorced, single mother who has been alone for the greater part of a decade, I increasingly believe that my life would be better spent not looking for the perfect relationship.
I’ve been in a few short-lived relationships in recent years; the sacrifice is always too much. These days, I frequently worry if my efforts to find a spouse are futile because, in the end, I am a dedicated mother with a teenage daughter and a 10-year-old son. I have a full-time job, anxieties, pets, and a home to care for.
Partnering now appears to be a difficult decision for everyone. But perhaps more than anybody, for me. I enjoy sleeping alone and spreading out on my bed every night. I’m becoming a creature of habit, more than I’d like to admit. I’m content in my lone existence, and it would take a lot—perhaps an unattainable degree of perfection—to change that.
While the entire charade is startling, Gerry and Theresa stated this morning that, while they are still in love, their “commitment” to both of their families caused their marriage to fail. It’s an odd explanation considering that their children are grown, and they should be free to live their lives whatever, wherever, and with whoever they choose. Still, while I don’t entirely comprehend going through the entire process from last rose to wedding, I do realize that relationships may get more difficult with age.
Gerry and Theresa clearly underestimated the difficulty of coupling. Perhaps it is for me—and for many of us who are single after our first marriage.
And, while you may discover love at any age, the fact is that you’ll usually have to give up a lot to make it last. There is nothing gold about that.
